STORMPAY: A Friday Night.

Tonight:


Ate a few bites of salmon prepared by my mom on a George Forman Grill, which was surprisingly sumptuous.

Downloaded and played a vocabulary flashcard game off the internet.

Applied Epi-Otic, a veterinary analgesic for dogs, on my ears

Pretended to read the Dallas Observer while standing extremely close to a group of middle-aged women reviewing a film they had just seen starring Dame Judy Dench.

Declined an enormous and free ice cream cookie sandwich.

Thought about and decided that since I am a bad daughter I would have to name my adopted Chinese baby girl Sandra after my mom, but that I would pronounce in San-jra, as if it were an Indian name.

Bought two hot pink pocket bibles.

Sat in front of a unintelligible arguing black couple on the train and actually read the Dallas Observer.

Loitered in front of a Hispanic news team hoping to get interviewed.

Found a flyer on the ground that said “CONDRADULATIONS! ” with an image of several huge sacks with money signs on them. Of course, intrigued, I squatted down to read it (as it was taped on the ground) The flyer asked me if I was “Ready to have [my] own ATM machine in [my] home receiving $10 bills daily for the rest of [my] entire life?…Let me introduce to you A FULLY AUTOMATED INTERNET CASH MACHINE that makes real money for real people, the ONE AND ONLY……….VENUS AND MARS LIFETIME INCOME CASH MACHINE……..

Saw my cash machine in action at
http://www.venus-and-mars.com/index.php