Ladyfriend.

Sack of dried tofu.

Bike mounted street sweepers. Their "docking bay" is just around the corner from my house and on an early morning I can see them, all 20 or so of them, usually cherubic older women, launching out slowly, creeking down the street. They sweep up using these bristley twig brooms the chinese are so fond of--see the brooms poking out the back?

He's not a bike, but he's a dog carrier, and that's alright, I say.